Sunday, September 29, 2013

Sweet Memories

We blessed Molly today. It was such a sweet and special day. I was worried I was going to be an emotional wreck but I held it together. It was so awesome being surrounded by friends and family. I thought I would share a sweet little experience from the day. Chase did a wonderful job with her blessing and I felt at peace while he talked. After the meeting, as we were all walking out the door I was stopped by my bishop. He told me that while Chase was talking and said he blessed that she would be able to overcome and fight off any infections and illnesses, Molly opened her eyes and smiled. This melted my heart. I know that she will get sick eventually and it will probably get scary at times. But this little memory will be with me always and help me get through the burden of having to watch her fight. She is strong. She is a fighter. And she know's it.

Many people asked me who she looked like today. I think she mostly looks like Kael with touches of Claire. Here are some comparisons..... You be the judge.

 Molly's Birthday

 Claire's Birthday

Kael's Birthday

Molly One Week

Claire One Week

Kael One Week

 Molly's First Bath
Claire's Firtst Bath

Kael's First Bath
Molly One Month
Claire One Month
 Kael One Month
Kael's Blessing 2008

Claire's Blessing 2010

Molly's Blessing 2013

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Turning Point

We've reached a turning point in our lives... one that effects the entire family. Not so much a good thing but a turn we have to take. Molly was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at only one week old. I'll never forget the moment when that devastating news was delivered. Molly had been up most the night and my sweet husband took her and the other kids and kept them busy while I grabbed some sleep before he had to leave for his morning class. He came in and gently woke me while he told me the doctor called and said Molly has CF. I bolted up and exclaimed, "What?!" Praying I had heard wrong. He repeated it again with sadness in his eyes. I broke down and sobbed because I knew this was a turning point. I knew that my poor little girl was going to have to fight for her life everyday. Nothing was going to be the same for her or anyone else in our little family. I have personally seen how this disease can consume a persons life and I didn't want my baby to have to go through this. Most of that day I just cried and felt sorry for Molly and the life she was going to have. The next day I decided that being sad wasn't going to help anybody. My kids needed their mom to be strong, especially Molly. We met with the her CF doctors at Phoenix Children's Hospital a couple days later started her on enzymes and vitamins. They made sure when we left there we understood what CF was, how it affected Molly and how to take care of her. I left there feeling overwhelmed but comforted. I know that this illness can be so ugly at times. But it can also be a great strength to her and she can go on to have a normal life. Cystic Fibrosis is a part of her and our lives now but it's not going to dictate who she is.

Molly has been my unique baby from day one. In the beginning, I had some spotting and thought I was going to miscarry. Then I had round ligament pain that was so awful that I went into the ER because I didn't know what it was. I made it the rest of the time with no more complications and felt pretty good. That ninth month I was so tired of being pregnant for sure but I wasn't completely miserable like I was with the others. We didn't know the gender of the baby so that was super exciting!! The day before I had her, I was having some contractions that were about 10-5 minutes apart. I knew they were real contractions but was still worried that they were going to go away like they had been doing. But they stuck around all day and into the night. I woke up that morning still having contractions and needed to use the restroom. I was lazy and didn't want to get out of bed yet. Can you blame me, it was 5am. Still in a fog, I felt a 'pop' then a small gush. I thought, "oh crap, I think my water just broke!" I sat up and more 'gush'.... Oh yeah, I definitely think it broke. I ran to the bathroom, still thinking it might just be me peeing my pants. Sat down on the toilet and BIG gush. Yup that would be the rest of the 'water' so I hollered at Chase from the bathroom that my water had broke. He bolted out of bed and started getting ready. I was kind of disappointed because my other labors were so long and I didn't want to sit at the hospital forever again. I noticed now that my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. I figured I would take a shower, get ready then call the doctor. I called my mom to arrange to drop off the kids then I finally called the doctor. She of course said that she wanted me to go in and check to make sure the baby was doing ok with the contractions. I still took my time but noticed that the contractions were getting pretty strong. Once we were finally loaded up to go I was having a hard time breathing through the contractions so we rushed to my mom's to drop off the kids. My mom took one look at me during a contraction and said you better get your butt to the hospital. She knew I was going to try and do this drug-free but I was having a hard time and it had only been an hour since my water broke. We hurried on our way, but when we got to the freeway it was packed with traffic. I was trying so hard to focus and breath through the pain. I was doing ok until about halfway there. I told Chase I don't know if I was going to be able to handle another 10 hours of this pain. About five minutes from arriving at the hospital I could feel the baby moving into my pelvis and the contractions were now about 45 seconds to a minute apart. I was in transition but didn't know it. I was crying telling Chase there is no way I'm doing this drug-free. I was panicking and not handling the contractions well. I thought I was going to hinder my body from progressing and I knew I was causing myself more pain by not staying calm. As we pulled up to the door I told him just to park by the door so we could run in, I was just finishing a contraction and wanted to get in there before another one came. As soon as we got to the front desk another whopper hit and I dropped to the floor. Trying to rock my hips and keep calm. I could hear people in the waiting room shouting encouragements because they knew I was in the zone. Poor Chase didn't know what to do, he didn't want to leave me but knew we needed to grab somebody quick. I just told him go get somebody. A doctor walked over and asked what I needed, Chase ran up and said they were coming with a wheelchair. My contraction finished and they helped me up. I said screw the wheelchair just get me to the room. So we waddled to the room and I asked to get in the shower. They said no because they needed to check me and monitor me to see what was going on. I just kept thinking I still have forever I just need to shower to calm myself down. They got me on the bed and checked me real quick between contractions, I was at an eight. I asked for drugs and they said no. Then I begged for a shower and the kept saying they needed to monitor me longer. I had one nurse who yelled at me the whole time trying to tell me what to do and I just yelled back and told her no. She wanted me to just lay on the bed while they tried to hook me up to everything. That was not going to happen!! The other nurse I had was wonderful and she stayed calm and let me do my thing. She told me things to help me focus and worked with me. They kept trying to do my Hep-loc but my contractions were so close together that they were worried I was going to blow it. Finally they got it in but I started feeling pushy. They panicked and told me how to breath through it because the doctor still wasn't there and I would lay down so they could check me again. Finally the doctor showed up and she checked me between a contraction and said I was a ten. Because I had begged for some kind of pain relief they were waiting for the "epidural doctor" to come but he was still wasn't there. My doctor said I was ready let's turn over and start pushing this baby out. This whole time I felt like my brain was no longer with my body. But some how I was able to focus enough to lay down and start pushing. I just remember the contractions were awful but the pushing was such a relief. I just tried so hard to focus on my pushing because that was all I could do. I pushed for 20 minutes and the epidural guy finally showed up. He was no longer needed, I was doing it. I was still in disbelief. But I was pushing my baby out. I finally got her head out and they said one more push and your done. As they pulled her up, I opened my eyes and saw her for the first time. I saw that she was a girl and shouted that out. Everybody laughed and said they forgot to check. They confirmed she was a girl and laid her on me. I was still in such a daze and could not believe that I didn't end up with surgery! She was a tiny 6lbs 9oz and 18 inches long. She looked just like her brother. I looked at the clock and she was born at 8:57am. a mere 4 hours of labor and only an hour and a half of it was at the hospital. It was a crazy intense experience but totally worth it.

I got to be there for her first moments, joking around with my awesome nurses, watching her get her first bath and talking with my honey. We called all the family and let them know we had a girl. We thought about what we should name her and then decided on Molly Jean. 24 hours later I was checking out and on our way home.

Here we are almost a month later and life has changed drastically. Life with a newborn is busy but add in the CF and it makes it even busier. Before every feeding I have to give her enzymes with applesauce, I have to make sure she gets salt each day and extra vitamins. This last week, we started doing her percussions. Once she's a little older we will need to add in the breathing treatments.

Life with a CF baby has been crazy but I wouldn't change it for the world. We love our little miss Molly and are so excited to see her grow.

First Bath

With Dr Sally

Meeting her big brother for the first time

Girl Power

Family of FIVE!

Big sister

Best Friends

First bottle

One Week Old

First Bath

First Story-kid wanted to read a story to her

Two Weeks Old

Three Weeks Old

Tiniest percussor I've ever seen!!

First matching outfit - We love minnie mouse!!

Last Summer Swim

FHE at the temple

So glad that families are forever!!